Dear Pregnant Career Girl

Dear Pregnant Career Girl

You love being in control, some may even go as far as calling you a control freak….  Use to your smart suits, your manicured nails and styled hair. Boy are you in for a shock. Parenthood is a lot harder than hitting that target, planning a business meeting or passing your finance exams. It is one big emotional rollercoaster which starts even before you hold your baby in your arms.  Accept that you are no longer in control, it will not only make your life easier but everyone else’s too. That also includes the birthing process which unsurprisingly doesn’t go to plan on either occasion. Don’t worry you will cope with the way it pans out, albeit better second time round. Just focus on the. fact you are bringing your own little miracle into the world and everything else will pale into insignificance.

Do yourself a favour now. Throw out the size 8s. There will be no new designer clothes each month you will prefer to spend your money on your babies (and that scary childcare bill). When given the option of spending time with the kids or getting a manicure you will always choose the former. Embrace the grey as there will be plenty of time to sit at the hairdressers when the boys are off doing their own thing. For now spend as much time as you can with them as you will never get these moments back. You will always look a little less smart than you use to, but in the eyes of your kids you are mummy. Nurse to grazed knees, protector of bad dreams and the most important person in the world, they don’t care if you look a little like you have been pulled through the hedge backwards.

The biggest challenge you will face is that elusive work life balance. Sometimes you will get it wrong. Sometimes you will have to miss that promotion this time round. That doesn’t mean there will not be another opportunity which is better timed. Don’t miss that school play trying to prove to your colleagues that you can do it all, you can’t. You will never get a chance to sit through the first nativity again. There is only 24 hours in the day and not two of you. Work effectively not harder. The first word on your headstone will say mother not corporate employee. Try to keep your priorities in check.

There will be days when you feel as though you are a crap mother and failure at work. Days when you want to give up. Well you can’t so stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pull those socks up and put a smile on your face and get on with it. That little hand in yours makes it all worth it and there is always wine after bedtime.

Get a cleaner. If you can’t find one you like then don’t stress about the cleaning,  don’t try and live in a show home. Your friends don’t care and neither do the kids. They will not remember that the hoovering was always done. But they will remember that science experiment that wrecked the kitchen, the days out and staying with them stroking their hair until they fall asleep at bedtime. Instead of trying to get the off as quickly as possible to check for that important email. By the way the light grey carpet idea was a bad idea and don’t get me started on the satin wallpaper…

Cherish your NCT friends, they are your rocks and will likely with with you for life. They are there when you need a rant about the other half not pulling his weight. There to help hypotheses about sleeping issues and routines. There to support your passions and business ventures over ice cream on a Friday night. Yes times have changed but thats okay, you all rock. But be wary of that competitive mum…. you know the one that brought your whole wardrobe. It took you a while to realise the negative impact she had on you and your little one. Babies are individuals they all develop at their own pace and do things at different times. Its is not about who has the biggest house, the fastest car, the prettiest dress or the fullest playroom. Its about nurturing the moments, being happy and watching your little ones flourish, however that may be.

Do your research when it comes to buying the big things. Don’t buy something just because its shiny and you want it. Yes I am talking about that buggy, that one the snob in you wanted. Its useless on the school run, you need something that is small, folds down easily and can handle curbs. Not something that shouts look at me. As for off road? Stupid. Pride is the only thing stopping you pulling out the old stroller from storage. Get over it and make your life easier. 

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is listen to your gut. You will know the right things to do for your baby, even when you were in Neo Natal. Listen to all the advice you are given and make your own decisions, if someone has not breastfed then they can not give you advice on it. Do not be bullied into making decisions, yes they know about their own babies. By just by definition that doesn’t mean they know about yours. Trust your instincts they are never wrong. 

When the time comes to return to the corporate world you will still love it. But the babies will always come first. Thats okay. Its how it is meant to be. Don’t apologise for it or feel guilty about it. You are still the person you always were. But make sure you pick the right childcare, and by that I mean not the childminder that put your eldest on a behaviour report at eighteen months. Just because she needed a reason to give you notice and was too weak to be honest. Paying a few more pounds everyday will make your life a lot easier. It will also avoid those phone calls when you were already on the train to London and so helpless to comfort your crying baby….

Your bank balance maybe lower and you may never get eight hours sleep again but you heart is fuller and your future brighter because of it. Enjoy the rollercoaster and make sure you take as many photos as possible on the incredible journey that you have just begun. You will never get these days back enjoy them. Take it from me, I would live them all again in a flash.

Love your slightly more experienced self xx 

PS Try not to forget Hubby who already feels like he comes at the bottom of the pile after the cat…

I was asked by Tesco to write a letter to my former pregnant self offering advice based on what I know now as a mum to two. They have conducted some research which reveals that parents spend 1,212 hours worrying about their child a year. This equates to 50, 24 hour days! Topping the list of worries is the thought of their child falling ill (31%), the cost of raising a baby (23%) and the concern of having a messy house (18%).

One in five parents fine January the hardest month of the year will wallets stretched following the festive season. To help Tesco is hosting a Baby Event in hundreds of stores across the country from 16th January until the 1st February. Parents can take advantage of great deals on baby essentials from nappies and wipes to toys and clothing. They also have an online forum Tesco Baby Club which offers helpful advice and great prizes to help make parenting easier.

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41 Comments

  1. January 25, 2017 / 7:22 am

    This is so lovely. I was never a career girl but still lots in there that I can relate to. It’s so easy to look back with the benefit of hindsight, but the journeys we’ve been on have got us to where we are today. I always think I wish I was this confident and relaxed when I had Mabel, but that’s just the way it is, the first child gets to be the guinea pig! Great post lovely xx
    Louise | Squished Blueberries recently posted…Sunrise | The Ordinary MomentsMy Profile

  2. January 25, 2017 / 7:33 am

    Motherhood certainly changes us and it can be hard to adapt to the change. Life is different almost instantly. But it’s a wonderful job. And I totally get the whole “being financially stretched in January” so a word of advice – don’t have a January baby! More financial sttretching… #bloggerclubuk
    Lucy At Home recently posted…Easy Peasy Party Bunting In 3 Quick StepsMy Profile

  3. Claire
    January 25, 2017 / 7:52 am

    Lovely letter, I’m almost starting to feel like I’d forgotten how I felt when I was pregnant, all naive and optimistic! It’s easy to get carried away in needing to get things done but time is definitely better prioritised by spending it with the children! #bloggerclubuk

  4. January 25, 2017 / 9:17 am

    This is brilliant and SO true. I remember when I was pregnant, I was so focussed on maintaining my job and I was convinced nothing would change. I was so short sighted! #bloggerclubuk
    Rach recently posted…10 Excuses To Swerve Dieting & ExerciseMy Profile

  5. January 25, 2017 / 10:20 am

    What a lovely letter and such a good idea to write to your former self. It’s surprising how much you think that things will stay the same when you have kids – and how much they really really don’t! #bloggerclubuk
    Cherry – The Newby Tribe recently posted…Living Arrows #4My Profile

  6. January 25, 2017 / 10:22 am

    What a great letter, it’s amazing looking back at the first time we were pregnant and realising how different things are now. I used to think that being a parent would be very different to the reality, and even now, after baby number five, I still feel that way too! I would tell my former pregnant self to sleep as much as possible!!! #BloggerClubUK
    five little doves recently posted…A letter to myself on my 17th birthdayMy Profile

  7. January 25, 2017 / 10:35 am

    A wonderful letter which, even though my little one is only six months, I’m already able to relate to. I often feel guilty for missing my working life, but your article will hopefully help me to get the balance right and appreciate my time with my little one a little more. #BloggerClubUK

  8. Sarah - mud cakes and wine
    January 25, 2017 / 11:12 am

    What a lovely post, it’s funny to look back and to what you thought and the reality. I am a stay at home mum but still need a cleaner ???????? #bloggerclubuk

  9. January 25, 2017 / 11:23 am

    this is gorgeous, and something we could all do with reading whilst pregnant. I agree ignore that inner snob, we can waste so much money on all these brand and trendy items! Lovely post xx #bloggerclubUK
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Insecurity is a waste of timeMy Profile

  10. January 25, 2017 / 12:28 pm

    Oh what a gorgeous letter to have written?! Love the fact that you wouldn’t change a thing – that’s so lovely to hear because giving up that wardrobe and size 8 is tough!! And yes to the not forgetting the husband! Lovely post and a lovely memory to read later on in life too – really special #BloggerClubUK
    justsayingmum recently posted…Ten Sure Signs You Are Addicted to Social Media!My Profile

  11. January 25, 2017 / 1:22 pm

    This is beautiful! I can so relate to the struggle, the emotions, and just all the love!

  12. January 25, 2017 / 3:13 pm

    Love this! I need to remind myself of a lot of this stuff now the baby is here and I’m juggling him and a job! Basically, I need to stress less about the small stuff #BloggerClubUK

  13. January 25, 2017 / 3:14 pm

    I still struggle to remember there’s only 24 hours on a day and only 1 of me! So so true. #bloggerclubuk
    Briony recently posted…Feeling Calm #47My Profile

  14. January 25, 2017 / 4:28 pm

    It’s a very lovely letter! Don’t you wish we all could get this upon new baby arriving? I wish I did. What a difference that would have made with all the worrying I did. =) #bloggerclubuk

  15. January 25, 2017 / 5:28 pm

    This is all so true! It took me nearly 8 years of juggling to then decide that the corporate world and 3 children didn’t really work for me anymore. It just didn’t give me enough time with them. Not even with flexible and part-time work. In fact, in way that made it even worse. Great tips and great facts shared by the Tesco report! Thanks for sharing #BloggerClubUK
    Sara recently posted…How I’m working through my yearly goals with the Me, Myself and I boxMy Profile

  16. January 25, 2017 / 6:19 pm

    A lovely letter with such sensible advice, it is indeed hard returning to a career and you need to really enjoy it to make it work in my experience. #bloggerclubUK
    Fiona Cambouropoulos recently posted…Solving The Odd Sock DilemmaMy Profile

  17. January 25, 2017 / 9:27 pm

    That’s all so true! We won’t get this time back and I spend too much time worrying about tidying up or getting organised and not enough time just enjoying the here and now. Before you have kids you think you know what to expect but you really don’t. its a constant learning curve. #bloggersclubuk

  18. January 25, 2017 / 10:37 pm

    Funny how we have these notions of what life will be like once we’re moms. Then it happens and nothing seems to go as planned. You find yourself living a life you never planned to have, in a body you sometimes don’t recognize, in a house that’s far too messy and unorganized to be yours, and while everything seems to have been flipped on end, somehow you don’t mind. Being a mom is like some sort of wonderful nightmare from which you never want to wake. #bloggerclubuk

  19. January 25, 2017 / 10:40 pm

    Great letter and I love the picture of you and your bubba! I have literally no pictures of me with Rory until he’s about 8 weeks old. Clearly no one thought to take any pictures of me as they were all too busy taking pictures of him!
    It so true what you said about NCT friends. I’m the first out of my friends to have a baby. Without my NCT buddies I would have been lost! They may be the only friends I’ve ever had to pay for but their worth every penny! #bloggerclubuk
    Becky recently posted…Guest Post – The Pregnancy Diaries week31My Profile

  20. January 25, 2017 / 11:09 pm

    Hi Clare

    good post, you should definitely add that once you get over the idea of getting rid of your fancy clothes you can forget about owning any fancy furniture around the house.
    you make the choice to either give your kids crayon/paints or have clean furniture, never both.

  21. January 26, 2017 / 11:20 am

    What a well written post. I’m not from a corporate background but i can defintely relate to this! I think we all struggle with the work/life balance, is it even possible?? #bloggerclubuk
    Cydney recently posted…Pack With Us | JamaicaMy Profile

  22. January 26, 2017 / 12:56 pm

    Becoming a parent certainly changes your life. What you used to think was important, no longer is, everything is focused on your new little bundle x
    #BloggerClubUK
    Helen @Talking_Mums recently posted…#RockingMotherhoodMy Profile

  23. January 26, 2017 / 8:38 pm

    What a beautiful post. I sometimes wonder if I am unrealistic on wanting a spotless house and being a mum and working. The beach photo is absolutely gorgeous. Thanks for hosting #bloggerclubuk

  24. January 26, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    I miss my fringe and fake nails – no more are the frequent hairdresser and nail shop trips or the trips to a swanky wax bar for my HD brows.
    But I totally agree with you, id take time with Ben over the time it takes to get the above done.
    Have you returned to work yet? if so, I hope it went ok!!
    #BloggerClubUK

  25. January 27, 2017 / 11:15 am

    Great post. Ringing so true with us too!

  26. January 27, 2017 / 4:04 pm

    This is such a lovely idea! I think I definitely realised that things were about to change, but I had no idea of exactly how and there is so much advice I would give myself. I think the biggest one is to trust in your instincts. As a first time mum I was utterly unconfident in every decision I made, and would question everything I did. But I do now think that I actually got it right, and even when I didn’t, you have to do what is right for you at that time – what might work another time isn’t right for every time. I hope I can have more faith in my mum abilities second time around, but no doubt I’ll still question everything! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  27. January 27, 2017 / 8:24 pm

    Great letter, you should receive this in your “bounty” pack!

    #bloggerclubuk
    kerry recently posted…He is MY child.My Profile

  28. January 29, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    Oh yes, the reality of motherhood is definately different to how I thought it would be. Rollercoaster? You got that right. I was never a career girl because I never knew what I wanted to do and it’s a good job because I have so many appointments these days I’d never be at work. I had to give up my job after having my third child and if I’m honest, there are days I’m glad to see the back of. Like today. I never ever want a day like today again lol. Thank goodness for wine 😉

    Thanks for hosting #BloggerClubUK

  29. January 29, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    That bit about the headstone is so true and really hit home for me. I will always be a mum first. There is so much advice I would give myself, more so the second time I became a mum because I thought everything would be the same and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x
    Laura – dear bear and beany recently posted…Growing Up…The Ordinary MomentsMy Profile

  30. January 30, 2017 / 6:37 pm

    Funny how the importance on our careers seems to get bumped WAY down on the priority list after children tumble into the picture! Great advice about getting a cleaner (if you can budget for one). Who wants to spend the time doing that crap when there are way more valuable uses for your time! Great insights….thank you. #BloggerClubUK
    Carolina Twin Mom / Mary Peterson recently posted…Let’s Clean Up Our Closet Catastrophes!My Profile

  31. May 5, 2017 / 4:02 am

    Beautiful letter . My little monkeys are teenagers now but I loved looking at your beautiful photos of the babies . They grow and change so quickly . Enjoy your small ones xx
    ##BloggerClubUk

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