This is the next instalment of our pregnancy journey. The below are extracts from my journal which I have written each week (I am now almost 20 weeks). You can read about how I felt when we found out here and our 12 week scan here. I will be posting other weeks extracts in the coming days.
That extra week we gained at the scan seems really to have accelerated things. At exactly 14 weeks we had an appointment to see the consultant. I had started to think that perhaps the sticky blood high risk thing was a little in my head and we would see the consultant and then be discharged as such. Afterall everyone we had spoken to up to the appointment didn’t seem phased by it at all. There seemed no urgency or concern.
Unfortunately I had let myself fall into a false sense of security. The consultant opened with ‘why has it taken you 14 weeks to see me’. In the nicest possible way of course. We explained our story with falling between the cracks of two different trusts and she almost fell off the chair. She was very nice and gave me confidence, plus she’s the blood specialist so that’s reassuring as well. I stupidly forgot to ask about flying (I will need to fly for work in January, actually scratch that next week), overall the appointment had its ups and its downs.
The good things were 40 weeks is okay, obviously they will monitor me but we are aiming for 40 weeks. So no mid April meeting of Pip (fingers crossed). I’m having extra scans at 28 and 34 weeks which means more scan pictures! And its likely that we can go for a natural birth, after Monkeys shoulder distorsia I was expecting C -section straight off. So the reason for the natural birth – sticky blood normally means smaller babies, hence the extra growth scans. I was looking for some reassurance about having it when I was carrying Monkey however she suggested that because he was 9.2lb it would probably suggest that I didn’t. This is disappointing because I have been relying on the fact I’ve done it successfully once we can do it again.
The news about the Heprin was both a relief in as far it wasn’t just in my head and begrudging acceptance. It will increase the chances of a successful pregnancy by 70%. The fact that I have been self medicating aspirin has probably resulted in us getting this far but they like to put women with my auto immune disease onto Heprin at 12 weeks. I was more shocked to find that I would need to continue 6 weeks post delivery. Which makes a total of 32 weeks! On a positive I can still breast feed. Then the midwife giving us the instructions mentioned that I will need to go onto warphin afterwards. Having never been on a ‘haematology plan’ I couldn’t tell you if this is because of taking the Heprin or because I should be on it anyway? I’m not worrying about this now, that’s for post pregnancy. Positively my thyroid is fine.
We have had issues with the injections for the rest of the week. I can’t bring myself to inject myself so Hubby has been doing it. I will need to learn at somepoint as he will need to travel again for work before Christmas. Sometimes they go in, don’t hurt and all I feel is a sting as the drug enters my system. Which is uncomfortable but wears off after a few minutes. These leave small pin prick bruises with red spots. When it doesn’t go well it hurts (brings tears to my eyes hurt) and the needle leaves a bruise bigger than a 50 pence piece. One of them is over 2 inches wide, purple, yellow and deep. It’s starting to affect Monkey climbing all over me and they are unsightly in a swimming costume which I will have to don tomorrow for the first time since starting at Monkeys weekly onhealthy swimming class.
After a particularly painful one last night I burst into tears as the realisation of having to do this for 32 weeks sunk in. Don’t get me wrong the end result is more than worth it and I have read it becomes second nature and the bruising eventually stops. However I really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy and instead I now dread every evening – is it going to be a good one or a bad one? I know I’m not alone and I know that there’s women that have to go through a lot worse, after all its only one injection. That first smile at 8 weeks will be a huge payback.
Eating still remains a struggle in the evenings. I cry at the drop of a hat and have been watching naff Christmas movies to try and cry the tears out. I don’t remember being this emotional last time round. Most of our immediate family knows now and they are all excited I’ve still not decided about whether I want to share our news on social media. Although 70% is better odds.